The Last Days of 'No Worries'

So I'm finally back in the States (although technically I'm currently with my cousin in the Cayman Islands, but that's a good deal closer to home than Australia is). I haven't really had a chance to blog since my return do to being in a coma/getting my new license/visiting Bryn Mawr/Haverford/Swarthmore/getting ready for Cayman, etc. But more importanly I just haven't really had the urge to blog in the way I did while I was in Australia. I therefore justify my certain desire to do so on the similar climate of Cayman to Cairns. Anyhow, being back at home has had its ups and downs. My parents got rid of my car while I was gone, so I am currently sharing a car with my sister, which is okay. It's really nice to see her and Joe and my brother again. It feels much more like it's going to be Christmas in New Jersey as opposed to Queensland. I got a chance to catch up with the Jews and Hannah and some other Mawrtyrs. But I really, really miss being in Australia. Being in Cayman with Paul and his friend Adam is essentially my last hurrah in the no-stress freedom that went hand-in-hand with my studying abroad. Since I've been here we've watched football, watched loads of VH1, ate lots of food, and went to the beach. It's wonderful, and I actually really enjoy their company. But while sitting on the couch watching the top 100 songs of the 90s while they sat outside smoking cigars, I overheard them talking about their lives and relationships, which made me realize that in a few years I will be expressing similar concerns. And that reminds me of the fact that now that I'm home again, I have to think about my future, my career, and, most importantly, somehow making money. And I REALLY don't want to think about that. I know I'm still in undergrad and that I have time before it really actually becomes important, but it's still much more real now to me than it has been in months. The one thing I hope the my time in Australia will influence more than anything else is my determination now to do something in my life because it makes me happy and not just because it pays the bills. I wish that this was a more socially accepted attitude in the States so that this would be an easier feat to accomplish.

The one thing that I think will make this all the easier to deal with will be seeing all of my friends again and getting back into the swing of things at Bryn Mawr. It was really wonderful just to be on campus and to eat at Haffner. I'm a bit concerned accademically due to the fact I'm taking some fairly difficult courses next semester following a semester of doing very little. But hopefully I'll be able to be disciplined without losing the carefree spontaneity I found in Oz. I'm working really hard on maintaining contact with people, but everything is just so different now. It's really difficult to have much more than the facebook relationship when you're separated by almost an entire day.

So, what I've basically come to realize is that at some point, maybe after I graduate Bryn Mawr, maybe after I get my law degree and/or Ph.D in history, that I need to move back to Australia. Similarly, I need to start living my life here in a fashion more like the one I had there. Hopefully I can do it without compromising too much of what has been established about "me" here, but I know for certain that in order for me to be happy, and really happy, I need to keep up the adventure. And with only a year and a half left of college before I have to confront the horrors of real life, I better live it up all I can right here and right now.