Parting Thoughts

Tonight is my last night at Whitley. I am sitting in the computer lab entirely ready to go out, and am fully disappointed that no one was up for it tonight. I fly out tomorrow for Sydney to stay with Rafal and re-connect with the Polish side of the family I've never met. I'm really excited to be traveling again, but I have mixed feelings about leaving Whitley and Melbourne in general. I wish people weren't studying/going home now because I will very likely not see most of them again after tomorrow morning and I want to spend time with them and I can't. Despite having multiple "meal" dates today, I actually feel ridiculously lonely. I know I'll be fine tomorrow, but I am having serious issues getting through this night. I don't want to go to sleep because my room is bare and prison-like with half-packed bags, and I have several unresolved issues that I have to figure out before I can even fall asleep. I definitely should have waited until tomorrow morning to leave notes for some people....

I really have enjoyed it here, despite some bullshit and some personal drama, I'm definitely glad I got to stay in a residential college. I'm excited to come back after Alice Springs and see Emma and Anna and all again- they've been my life support here. But I am going miss some people terribly. I decided today that I hate saying goodbyes. It never was a problem for me before because I always figured that if people cared that much to stay in touch they would, and it's not like you're that far away. But I know that there are people here that if I was here for longer would become even better friends than they already are, and its the kind of thing that you can't really duplicate solely over facebook. Much of my time here has been about the experiences. Next semester there will be new freshers, new Americans, a new start. When I first came to Whitley I remember how jealous I was of Marty because everyone talked about how much they loved him. Feeling the way I do now, I'll be really sad if they don't talk about me in the same way.

I know that I'm not leaving Australia tomorrow. I know that there are going to be many more stories and experiences. But I also know that when I leave tomorrow it will be back to living out of my suitcase until I get home. I guess in that respect I'll be really happy to get back to a "stable" living environment.

Right, I can't deal with this right now so I'm going to go sob in my room.